Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
