I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
