I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize