Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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