All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
