He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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