I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
