I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
