return my video game
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
