took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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