I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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