i just made my gag reflex go away.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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