I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize