I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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