the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
