I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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