great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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