thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
