By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
