Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
