wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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