Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
