Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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