sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
