well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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