No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
