Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
