8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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