if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
