just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
