At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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