Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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