this beer tastes like vomit already
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
