Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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