I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
