i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
