I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
