I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can Purell be used as lube?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
