Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You made out with two different species that night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
