What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
