Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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