I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize