My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
