Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
