I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
