Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
