thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
