first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
