Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
