You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
