I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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