come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
