In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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