Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
