woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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