Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
