I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize