ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
