too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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